2015-2016
* Mrs. Brown, "We've talked about dictionaries a lot. Can any of you tell me about a thesaurus?" Student, "I know! It's a type of dinosaur!"
* "My favorite food is sushi... or meat-on-a-stick."
* "My grandma is turning 52 and she isn't even dead yet! And she's not even in a wheelchair!"
* During recess time, a cat was on the playground. A student was sure it was her cat and she wanted to take it home. I told her she wouldn't be able to leave school so she suggested that we just "put it in a Wal-Mart sack"! She wasn't very happy with me when I turned that idea down too.
* A student asked to play a song for the class. I agreed. As the song came on, the student began to dance along with it saying, "This takes me back to my childhood days." I reminded him he was still in his childhood days!
* We discussed finding a good fit book. One boy suggested reading the dictionary. I replied that I didn't think it would be too interesting. I also added that I didn't think we could read most of the words. Another student piped up quickly, "Not yet". I love his optimism!
* A boy in class asked me to help him put his pedometer on his shorts. While asking he yanked out his waist band, looked down and said, "Good thing I'm wearing underwear today....I usually don't."
2014-2015
* Overheard from the hallway in a tune similar to a former popular song: "I like big books and I cannot lie."
* After I drew a poorly illustrated person, a student announced that it looked like my person was wearing pantyhose. Another student asked what pantyhose were. The response by another student, "I think it was something they used to wear in the 1800s."
* While discussing the right to free speech, Student: "I'm lucky. I can say that George Bush looks like a monkey and not get thrown in a pit of fire. Which is good because he does look like a monkey."
* Student, "My mom was in the hospital over break." Mrs. Brown, "Oh, no! Is she okay?" Student, "Ya, she just had her tubing tied..... It was my baby brother's fault."
* Student: I love living in the country. I can use the bathroom where ever I want.
* When talking about an upcoming event... Student, "My parents won't be there. They are going to an adult party... They are going to drink alcohol."
* Mrs. Brown: "Please turn your volume level down." Student: "I can't. I have the voice of a man."
* Mrs. Brown: "If you could give your mom anything what would it be?" Student: "A new husband." Not exactly the answer I was expecting!
* Election Talk: Mrs. Brown, "Why don't I like him?" Student, "He's republican and that's enough."
* Election Talk: Student A: Paul Davis! Paul Davis! Student B: Don't vote for him. He goes to stripper bars. Students C,D,E,F,G, and H: What is a stripper bar? Student I: My dad goes to stripper bars!
* Monday after Halloween: Me to student, "You've been making some poor choices. What's going on today?" Student: "It's the candy. It hasn't got out of my system yet."
* Student, "You are in my love race." Me, "That sounds fun. What's a love race?". Student, "It's a race of who I love the most. You're in front with Mom, Sadie, and Brooke." Me,"Wow, that makes me feel really special. I know your mom. Who is Sadie and Brooke?" Student, "My dogs." :) Dogs or not, I still feel special!
* Second grader: "How old are you? I'm wondering because my uncle likes me to ask when I meet someone new. He's single. He's never had a girlfriend. And he's really fat."
2013-2014
* "I love my dad, but he can be stinky. Watch out after he eats and don't even think about going in the bathroom after him!"
* "My grandpa is going to buy me the LEGOs. He has a lot of money. I think he won the lottery. He has about $110.00."
* "My dad is 46 or maybe 43. (thinking pause) He's 40 something. He's old, but he's still strong."
* "Mrs. Brown! Mrs. Brown! Do you want to see my Jesus Coin?" Of course I did. When he handed me the coin I saw "Jesus" was really the Statue of Liberty.
* "I am part British because my brother's birthday is almost on St. Patrick's Day."
* The class was discussing a book illustrated by one of my favorite illustrators. We had talked about him before so I was trying to prompt the class to remember his name by giving them his first name, "David.....". A boy in class quickly thought he'd got it, "DAVID HASSELHOFF!" he shared. Nope, "the Hoff" didn't illustrate the book; it was actually David Catrow.
* I saw a student misbehave. When I asked him about it, he didn't want to admit what he'd done. I told him I'd give him time to think about it. A few minutes later he came over and said, "There are two reasons why I'm telling you. First, I don't want to get in trouble for two things. Second, I'm going to have to start confessing to the priest soon, so I might as well start practicing now."
* Girl jokingly: I'm a man! Boy: You are not. You don't have a hairy chest. Girl: I know, but I do have a hairy back.
* It was hot at recess so I made a comment about the class being sweaty. On boy said, "Ya, my feet get so sweaty. Once I kept my shoes off for three days and they were still slimy!"
* A boy running full speed zoomed in front of me while we were out at recess. I commented on how fast he was going. He came back to explain how he learned to run so fast. "I pressure all my anger into my legs and then.... then.... (off he went)." He came back over so I asked where he got his anger. He replied in two words, "My. Brother."
* I asked a student what he had written for his journal entry. He looked at his paper then at me then replied, "I don't know! I don't understand a word I am saying!" After that we did a little editing!
* I stopped a student as he headed towards the sink with a handful of markers. "Where are you going?" I asked. "To wash my markers," came his reply. Me: "No, they do not need washed. There isn't anything on them." Student: "I know, but look (pointing to the label), they say washable."
2012-2013
* A 4th grader: "Mrs. Brown, how's your baby?" (He was referring to my 2 year old, Joel.) Me: "He's good. Did you know I am going to have another baby?" Student: "You are? What are you going to do with the other one?"
*Ms. Clark: “Why is it important to check your work?” Student: “So the teacher doesn’t mark on your page because then your mom knows you got it wrong,”
* On our field trip I was sitting with a student on the bus ride. We passed several buildings, one being a First Baptist Church. As we passed the student exclaimed, “That’s a lie!”. I was a little surprised and asked him what he meant. He replied, “I’ve seen other churches like that before.”
* I love reading the students’ journals. Some of my favorite spellings this year… gunna= going to, the smorning= this morning, lrents= lawrence, New Hamster= New Hampshire.
* During a math lesson a student was raising his hand. I called on him only to hear him sadly say, “Mrs. Brown, you lost me at hello.”
* After talking about what is old…. “My dad was born in 19 something.”
* On the second day of school a student said to me, “Mrs. Brown, I’ve been really quiet. I’ve hardly talked all day.” I agreed he had been very well behaved and asked if he was going to keep it up all year. He paused and then replied, “Well, you just never know what’s going to come out of me.” At least he’s honest!
2011-2012
* As we were walking down the hall our class passed the small room where students go to settle down from a behavior problem or to be alone and reflect. Some teachers call it the quiet room; I usually refer to it as the “cool down” room. Student: Mrs. Brown, can our whole class go to the ‘cool down’ room? Me: No, that room is usually just for one person at a time. Student (a few steps later): How cold is it?
* As I collected yearbook money one student said his family was sharing because the yearbooks were expensive. Another student chimed in, “It doesn’t matter to me. My mom, she just writes checks.”
* “At school I’m an appropriate girl, but at home I’m a hillbilly!”
* I was reading stories wrote by the class out loud. One story was about a monkey who was being teased. When the monkey didn’t know what to do he told his mom. The story ended with, “His mom went and solved the problem.” As I pulled out the next story to read a student piped up, “Nothing is worse than a mom that is mad!” It made me laugh out loud because almost every student in the class started shaking their head in agreement.
* “This is the best day of school ever. Well, except for college graduation.”
* When a student began misbehaving I gave him my “teacher look”. He didn’t stop so I verbally asked him to make a better choice. A second student asked the first, “Didn’t you recognize that look by now?”
* I was walking the class through the steps to write a paragraph. They chose elephants as their topic to write about. We wrote down our main idea and were working on detail sentences when someone suggested writing “They have big legs.” The statement worked with our paragraph, but I challenged the class to think of a more interesting way to write it. 2nd graders do not disappoint! I had to laugh at the first suggestion given back to me…. “Elephants have meaty thighs.”
* Question: What did Neil Armstrong mean when he said, “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?” A 2nd grader’s answer: “It’s kind of a big deal.”
* I read to the class a story about a little girl who tried to take home her class pet. The girl’s name was Sara. After I read the story, our class started to tease the Sara in our room. I quieted them and reminded them the two Saras were very different people. A boy followed up, “Ya, because our Sara is a ninja.” As far as I know, our Sara is not a ninja.
* During a social studies lesson I told the class that they were all citizens of the U.S. One confused boy raised his hand and said, “I thought citizens were old people.” I then went on to explain the term ”senior citizen”.
* I told the students to place their “clickers” (hand-held vote devices for the Promethean board) on the corner of their desks. The second time after I knocked a clicker off just by walking past, I changed my mind. I told the class to move the clickers to the inside of their desks because my big booty kept knocking them off. (I admit not my best word choice.) One boy replied, “Uh, Mrs. Brown you don’t have a big booty. It is actually kind of small.” I laughed and thanked him. He very seriously said, “I’m not saying that to be nice. It really is small.” All I could do was smile and thank him again.
* Overheard from a group of boys talking after library checkout: “I didn’t get the book. I wanted “What To Say To Girls” so I could get some dates. It’s on hold. I’m getting it next week.”
* I started to hand out lunch menus when a student stopped me and said, ”I don’t need one. My mom prints them online. I guess she is just impatient.”
* The student of the week gets to choose a friend and eat in the classroom with me one day during his week. I learn a lot during those lunch conversations! I not quite sure how, but the song “Red Solo Cup” came up during one of my lunch adventures. The student was telling me about the “movie” for song. I was a little unclear of what he meant so I asked him where he saw it. His reply… church. I started to laugh and he quickly corrected himself. He watches music videos before church. So I think it is safe to say, his church is not showing any Red Solo Cup movies!
* Boy: I’m so glad I’m not a girl. Girl: Why? Boy (as he shakes his head and grimaces): Babies. It’s got to be painful getting those out.
* I overheard Ms. Haynes scolding the boys in the bathroom. They were trying to turn off the lights and say “Bloody Mary” five times. According to them, if you do this a ghost will come out of the mirror. Ms. Haynes told them it doesn’t really happen. One boy immediately started to argue; he knew it was true. How does he know? He saw the video on YouTube.
* We were discussing r-controlled vowels when I said to the class, “You probably remember from first grade that r is bossy. She changes the sound of the vowels.” I didn’t know what I said was so controversial until a big debate began about the gender of letter r. Some students said r was a boy while others argued that r was a girl. Finally one boy spoke up, “Well, my dad says that girls are way more bossy than boys. R has got to be a girl.” That ended the discussion.
* A girl in class was holding a poster that had recently been stuck to the wall. I looked up just in time to see her bite the sticky tack on the back of it. She then grimaced and said out loud to herself, “Nope, that isn’t gum.” I wonder if it was gum what she would have done!
* “When my dad eats beans, he farts a lot in his sleep.”
* “I really like math. It’s my type.”
* ”My grandpa is really smart. He wears glasses.”
2010- 2011
* I was having a conversation with two first grade girls about moving to 2nd grade next year. I asked them if there was anything I should leave behind instead of moving with me. After some thinking one of the girls said there were some things. She then began to name them, “Coy, AJ, Mason…” She went on to name all the boys in the room!
* We read a book about bedtime. In the story, a little girl doesn’t want to go to sleep; she gets up in the night and goes to her father’s bed side. This is the converstation that followed…. Student: That’s weird. I never go to my dad’s side; I go to my mom’s. Me: Why? (I should know better than to ask these questions.) Student: My dad sleeps naked and I never know how the blankets will be.
* Student: Is shoot a bad word? Me: I don’t think so, but it may be at some houses. Student: It isn’t at my house, but my grandpa says bad words. He says bull c h. Me: Stop! That is a bad word. (Although, I think the word he was trying to spell starts with s h)
* “Why didn’t they catch that guy on the security camera?” asked a student after learning Abraham Lincoln was shot in a theatre.
* “I see this as pretty funny….” this is how a student began a story he knew I might not find amusing.
* We were headed for outside recess after several days indoors because of snow so I began reviewing the rules of the playground. I started talking about what they should do if there was mud or piles of snow when I a boy groaned, “Oh great, that means we have to keep on the laptop.” I think he meant black top.
* We read a book about a family making food; to activate prior knowlege we discussed foods we liked as well as foods that our family members liked. Student 1: I know what my dad’s favorite food is… beer! Student 2: Oh, my dad’s too. He drinks it 24/7.
*Student 1: When my mom gets her paycheck she is going to buy a lot of groceries. She fills up the fridge. Student 2: Your mom’s a hoarder!
* When going over special days in January I pointed to a silhouette of Martin Luther King Jr. on the 17th. I asked the class if any one knew what it might stand for. One boy replied “Black Monday”.
* “My mom is going to send you a text on the computer.”
* “If Rudolph (the red nosed reindeer) were a person… he’d be a teenager now.”
* “My sister knows who you are. She says you are a beautiful unicorn.” Do I take that as a compliment???
*Boy 1: Is Mrs. P afraid of chickens? Me: I don’t know; we’ll have to ask her. Boy 2: I am afraid of spiders. Me: I don’t like spiders either. Boy 3: I’m afraid of girl’s butts. Me: Uhh, what?!? (He repeated it. I heard right!)
*A girl asked if girls had to change their name when they got married. I told her they didn’t have to and then asked if she was going to change her name or make her husband take hers. Her reply, ”Who ever asks the other person to marry them should get to keep their name.” Sounds fair to me!
* For the spelling word ‘ring’ I gave the following sentence… “Adam gave me a ring when he asked me to marry him.” A little boy looked at his tablemates and said “Ya, that’s because they’re old”.
* One of the boys came in this morning, his hair was fixed with hair gel. A girl in the class looked at him and said “Wow! His hair got jello-ed!”
* I overheard a boy complaining, “Rock Obama taxed my mom $100″. He was getting his work done so I didn’t say anything to him. About ten minutes later I heard another boy excitedly telling another student, “Did you know Rock Obama texted his mom $100?”.
2009-2010
* We had a discussion about recycling plastic. I asked the class if they could think of anything made from plasitc. One student trying to be funny said, “people”. I asked if he really thought people were made from plastic. Another boy’s hand shot up into the air. I called on him. “Some people are made from plastic”, he said. “Micheal Jackson was half plastic. He even had plastic surgery for his nose.”
* “Have you had your baby yet? What is taking so long? My cat already had her kittens.” I tried to explain that it takes people longer than it does cats to have a baby, but I don’t think it helped. Another student overheard the conversation and asked, “Why don’t you just go to the doctor and have them take it out?”
* “My foot has a headache.”
* As a student was leaving for the day he said, “Bye, Mrs. Brown. Hope everything is good with your baby. Are you allergic to anything?” I told him that I wasn’t. He responded, “That’s good. If you were you’d have to get a shot in your butt.”
* The students were working on a compound word activity. They were to illustrate both parts of a compound word and then the whole word. One student chose the word jellyfish. He drew jelly and then a fish. Halfway through drawing the jellyfish he looked at me as asked, “Mrs. Brown, how many testicles does a jellyfish have?”. I said I didn’t know, but they have a lot of tentacles!
* Since sharing the news of my pregnancy with the kids I’ve had several questions and comments. Here are a few (I’m sure this list will continue to grow!) *Is it in your skin? *How did it get in there? *How did you know you were pregnant? *When is it coming out? *If he comes out by July 25th can he come to my birthday party? *Where is your baby at? (I think this little girl thought I was having him over the weekend.) *Good thing we’re going to the computer lab so your baby will know how to use the computers.
* Knowing I had to attend a meeting the next morning, I warned my kids I would be gone. A boy looked at me and asked, “Who is going to babysit us?”
* On the way to recess a little boy and girl were at the end of the line. I could tell they were arguing so when they reached the place where I was standing I asked what was going on. She grumbled to me, “He rubbed his ‘bagina’ on the chair.” Hmm, I’m still not sure how I should have responded to that one!
* When we have a “cheater” word we are working on for spelling I tell the kids to take a picture of how it looks because they won’t be able to sound it out. Today during spelling I told the class to take a picture of a word. One boy said out loud to himself, “That one is already in my album.”
* A girl asked to take off her long sleeved undershirt from underneath her t-shirt. She was doing this without taking off her t-shirt and since she already had it most the way off, I said she could finish. When she completed doing so she walked back over to me and said, “I did that without showing anyone my boobies!” The boy I was helping looked at me and asked, “She doesn’t have boobies, does she?” I paused not quite sure how to respond. He then added, “Right now, all she has is nipples.” Luckily this time he wasn’t looking for an answer.
* Student, “I saw God last night.” Mrs. Brown, “Wow! Where at?” Student, “The store.” Mrs. Brown, “Really? Where does he shop?” Student, “Wal-Mart.” Mrs. Brown, “What did he buy?” Student, “Cookies.” Mrs. Brown, “How did you know it was God?” Student, “I saw a picture of God before and I recognized his face.”
* “My mom has a mom. She used to be married to a guy. His name was Grandpa.”
* A proud first grader walked up to me and said, “I know why your name is Mrs. Brown.” “Why,” I asked. “Because you have brown glasses” he replied. I’ve also had students think I am Mrs. Brown because I wear brown shoes, brown pants, or have brown eyes. The year after I was married a confused kiddo looked at me and aked, “Why did your husband name you that?”
* A perplexed student simply stated: “Life is really wierd.” He already knows and he’s only 6!
* I was sitting in a chair while the first graders gathered around on the floor in front of me. My shoe came untied so a student was attempting to tie it. While she worked another little girl touched my leg then said, “Hmm, at least they’re not hairy like my mom’s.”
* I was in charge of bus duty after school when I asked a little boy from another class if he had a good day. The boy said yes, but he still wanted to be in my class. I asked why (their reasoning is usually very fun to hear). He said one of my students told him I “let them do anything as long as it doesn’t solve a problem.” WELL, I had to correct him and let him know our rule is “Feel free to do anything that doesn’t cause a problem for anyone else.”
* Today we talked about becoming independent workers. I told the class I wanted them all to be independent. I asked if anyone knew what independent meant; a hand went up “…..does that mean you’re pregnant?” Sometimes it’s hard to keep a straight face!
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